Camp Agape

Camp Agape……………

This weekend has been quite interesting once we have begun to get ready go on the venture to the “Life For Youth Ranch” in Vero Beach, Florida. This has been our 11^th time going to help out at this Camp Agape. The word “agape” means unconditional love in Greek. The Camp Agape was created by the founder Richard Stimson many years and I cannot recall how many years when he has founded “The Special Gathering” many years ago.

The Camp Agape is geared for the members of the outreach ministry The Special Gathering for the mentally challenged. The Camp Agape is consists of chapel worship, fun hours, water slides, and mainly fellowshipping and supporting of the various groups of “The Special Gathering” members from different places like the Cocoa Beach, Indian River County, Jacksonville, Daytona Beach, Deland, Walterboro, South Carolina, and Melbourne. There are about the average of 200 plus camper throughout the camp ground doing different activities throughout each day of the weekend.

The day begins with the people waking up and going to have some breakfast. Most breakfasts were consisting of wholesome food like egg, bacon, grit, biscuit, toast, and cereal. When the campers are done with the meal, they walk over to the chapel building for the morning worship. The morning worship consists of music and singings, Many campers have the heart for worshipping the Lord, Jesus Christ. After the worship, the various leaders take turns preaching from the Bible as if they were in the church. The campers do pay attention to those who are speaking about Jesus. They hang onto each word spoken. Before they leave the chapel, they close in united prayer.

Next came the fun hour where many campers can go to choose different activities which are open throughout the camp ground such as archery, putt-putt-golf, boat rides, arts and crafts, go-carts, and game-room. Most campers enjoyed the boat rides which are one of the highlights of the Camp Agape, and the go-carts being the second highlight. Sometimes, the fun-hour would last up to 2 hours, they everyone would settle down for the lunch hour. The campers eagerly wait as they lined up to the door after someone say the blessings for the food.

When the lunch hour has finished; many campers would go to their cabins to get into bathing suits so that they be ready to go swimming and/or go water-sliding, which is later in the day. So there was time to start another fun-hour for the campers to get them preoccupied for the afternoon, and this usually lasted another 2 hours till it was time to go swimming. First, the campers find their partners before they’re allowed to go in the lake to swim together. Most got their chance to swim in the lake with a partner. That would last about a half-hour before getting ready to go on the “Super-Water-Slide” like those you see in the water-park. Most campers are excited to go on this water-slide. Many of them are eager to go climb up the steps while they waited in line for their turns to go slide down the slides. This is one of the biggest outdoor activities. Many have cited that this is one of their favorite activities.

Then, the campers returned the yellow mats in the mats bin, they all went back to their cabins to shower and put on dry clothes to get ready for the evening dinner. After they have put on dry clothes, many would wander back over to the cafeteria line to wait. Most of the camper would fellowship and share their days with one another. Then, someone says the blessing letting each group of people into the cafeteria.

Then, in the evening about an hour after finishing dinner; everyone goes back to the chapel for the evening worship. Most are enthusiastic when they sing and clap their hands after the opening prayer. Then, there was either the leader preaching from the Bible, a puppet show, or a musical. This year there was a puppet show with is really nice and these people has come from Wisconsin to minister to this group of Special Gathering.

After the closing prayer; the campers would either go back to their cabins or go to the picnic area. Those that went to the picnic area would purchase a few snack items from a small store and relax for the few moments with their friends before they would go back to their cabins.

Then, this routine repeats itself on the next day, with the exception of the chapel service being longer in the morning. Many campers do enjoy the camp experiences while they were there.

Next year, the camp duration would be a day longer like they were used to before the school calendar has caused the changes in the schedule mix-up, which had made the camp weekend shorter and on a different month.

This year has been an interesting year for both of us since we have helped with this Camp Agape for over ten years. Only 2 years we have gone twice. The theme for this year is “Who’s Your Friend?” There are different kinds of friends that each members of the Special Gathering has considered, best friends, mutual friend, family friends, co-worker-friends, and distant friend, name just a few. Each member has his or her own circle of friends. Some of these friends may or may not consider another circle of friends as their friends. It’s an interesting topic to discuss among the campers as they mingle with one another. There have been some interesting interactions between some friends. Some would share personal items, others would buy a can of soda for another friend, and still others would just by another friend and just talk about their days.

Also an interesting character named “Rover-Comer” has visited Camp Agape and greeted each camper as he has made his round throughout the camp ground. Rover Comer was wearing a sign that says, “Who’s Your Friend?” Some camper would say this or that camper or volunteer or a leader, and many of them, would say, “It’s Jesus!” Indeed, Jesus is the friend for all.

Ken and I have really enjoyed the camp this year as we have helped with the campers with some of the things like counting the money for their snacks or showing where their cabin is when they got lost, or share their stories. Many of the campers do recognize us by our first names.

We were assigned the game-room this year, and I have provided the music using my Zune mp3 player. Most campers were surprised to see such a device being so compact to hold so much music. I have not gotten through with all the 12 years worth of WoW Hits albums. Most would expect to see a typical tape or CD player. The most popular game to play in the game room was the billiard table. I’ve seen camper played various styles of pool. There were 2 billiard tables and one of them kept losing the balls. Anyway; we have no problems with any of the campers playing the various forms of table games. I’ve spent most of the times during the fun hours in the game room to keep an eye on the game players so that they were playing fair with one another as long as they’re done in fun. Sometimes, Ken was there to help, and sometimes, he would disappear to find the large dog, which happened to be named Rover-Comer. On Friday night, Rover has gotten lost 3 times trying to find his way back to the dog-house. (Hmmm, is there something wrong with his sniffers?).

Anyway; the camp for this year has been good for most campers as far as I know. So most are looking forward to coming back to camp next year and this time, it will be in May of 2008.

So may God bless you and take care. I’ll see you later on.

My Uncle Is A Paramedic.

My Uncle Is A Paramedic.

Here is another person that I would like to write about, and his name is Henry Thomas Hoyle Sr. He is one of the favorite people in my family that I’d like to hang out with. There are some things I do remember so well about him. He has the quality of the people-helper in many respects.

As young as I remembered Henry Thomas Hoyle also known as Uncle T. or Granddaddy to some of us in our family; he has been a paramedic for a long time as his career. He has started out as an ambulance driver. I do remember seeing some of those old ambulances that he used to drive. Most of them were like the large station wagons of those days until they have come up with the larger vehicles in order to add more advanced life-saving equipment.

Some people called them “Meat Wagons”. My husband is one of those types who still called even the newest and latest ambulances “Meat Wagons” I still don’t like the term, but that’s what they’ve called them.

Anyway; back to Uncle T.’s career as a paramedic, that was one of the longest career he has besides working with Granddaddy George on the swimming pools business. You know? Whenever I have watched the show called “Emergency!” on television; I think of Uncle T. who would work feverishly in order to save a patient’s life in an ambulance. I could just see my uncle in each episode of “Emergency!” as they worked to save a patient’s life while on the road, outside the burning house, or even just making sure a patient was okay.

Well, Uncle T. has saved a lot of patients’ lives over the years. Some patients have heart attacks; some have diabetic shock, while the others have many injuries. Some injuries were ranged from the cuts and bruises to the heavy bleeding from the gunshot wounds, or car accidents. Sometimes, he has encountered death while assessing the patients.

Of course, I thought of what would Uncle T. do whenever I try to help someone who were injured at one time or another. Uncle T. has taught me many things about administering the first-aid to the injured patient while waiting for the ambulance or the emergency crew to come up to take over the care of the patient.

I know that sometimes, Uncle T. would run into some people who would refuse proper treatments for their illness or injury. Some have lived and some have died as the result of the bad decisions on the patients’ part. I also know that Uncle T. would run into some patients who were “Drama-Queens” or “Drama-Kings” No pun intended.

Then, there was “Rescue 911” and there were more of the interesting life saving stories of the real life situations and people. I could see Uncle T. rushing to the doorstep with the bulging equipment bags. I can imagine how Uncle T. would quickly stabilize the patient’s vital system before preparing to transport the patient on the stretcher and roll him or her into the ambulance.

Some may wonder what has become of Uncle T. Well, after had retired from his career as a paramedic and then helping Granddaddy with the swimming pool installations and such. He also used to work at a convenience store in Deland, Florida. While he was working at the convenience store one night; several men has broke into the store and robbed the store. He was attacked in the process as he was defending the store. He has had a bad concussion as the result. So that was where he had a clot formed by the injury, and that was when he had to stay on the blood-thinner for the rest of his life. The doctors had to keep an eye on that clot or otherwise it would break off and cause a heart attack.

So about a few months before May 13 or 14, 1992; the blood-clot has broken off because he has hit his head on something else while he was working on a small construction project. He did not suspect that it has broken off until he had passed out a few times so he was taken to the hospital for treatment of his diabetic instability. He also died from the second diabetic coma, but something else has killed him.

It was one night while I was at my Grandmother’s house when the hospital called on the Wednesday or Thursday night. The news has devastated a lot of the family members. What has killed Uncle T. was that the blood-clot has broken off and has travelled to his heart before it got lodged in the heart’s blood-vessel causing the heart to swell and burst. And, he was about to be ready to come out of the intensive care unit to the regular room at the Halifax Hospital in Daytona, Florida.

I have many fond memories of Uncle T. as I was growing up. I got to ride the ambulance as a passenger while he was transporting an elderly patient to the nursing home from the hospital. He helped me set up my first-aid kit for me to use in case of the emergency. He has given me some of his old patches to be sewn on my white shirt to be used on the “Career Day” while was at school. I have thought that was really awesome being able to wear my “paramedic” shirt so I can be a paramedic just like in the TV show, “Emergency!”.

He has a wonderful personality of the jolly man, but he is also a quiet man. Sometimes, he gets sarcastic in a quiet way. He likes to kid around and joke around. I know I’ve gotten picked on for sleeping in late past 12:00 PM or past noon! But, he also has the serious side. When he gets mad, which I’ve seldom saw his anger, he’ll be more quiet and one can tell with his eyes that were blazing. So over-all, you don’t see him so angry that often. I have rarely seen him in an angry mood. He was such sweet and quiet man.

So whenever I watched any news, TV shows depicting a paramedic or an ambulance, or just sees an ambulance rushing by; I think of Uncle T. being the driver and making sure that someone’s life is saved. I can imagine Uncle T. going to various emergencies and just fit right in with the other paramedics as they worked feverishly to save a patient’s life wherever there’s a motor-vehicle accident or another gunshot victim.

Just lately; I thought of Uncle T. and I have thought of what he would have done if he were sitting at the computer connect to the internet, and chatting in the Christian-chat Network, and if he had seen the distress in the chatter’s typing. He would have done the same thing that he has always done. It is to save a person’s life whether that person wants help or not. Uncle T. would have said that same thing that I have told the other person in the chat room; “Get help!” Uncle T. is the type that he would NOT take “No.” for an answer when it comes to the life-and-death situation. This incident has happened a few months ago in a chat room.

So Uncle T. has a few careers besides being a paramedic and an ambulance driver. He has helped Granddaddy George with the swimming pool business. He has worked in several convenience stores. He has had a full life despite that he had diabetes for many years. He has been married his wife, Mary Farlene Hoyle whom he calls “My Bride”. I remembered that saying so fondly… He would say, “That’s my Bride.” He loves his wife so dearly. They have several children together, and they have raised the four children, Jimmy, Cynthia, Henry Thomas Jr, (Little T.) and Joseph (Little Joe). Both Uncle T. and Aunt Farlene were loving couple for many years despite the many circumstances. This is one of the long-lasting marriages that I have seen over the years in my family.

Both Granddaddy and Uncle T. were the same age, which is quite unusual. They both would have been 76 years old by now if they are still alive.

So that is another person that I would like to write about. He has been an integral part of my life as I was growing up, and remember the fun things and the lessons learned from each other as the Uncle and the Niece.

May God bless you and you all take care of yourselves.

Of Clowns and Geishas...

Of clowns and Geishas……

There were times that I have trouble remembering a lot of things about our family members. Sometimes I remember so much about one person and so little about another. There are cetain qualities or attributes about each person in our family.

I have written a blog about “An Owl Lady”, which was one of the qualities or attributes that I have brought out in Jackie Reinhardt also known as Aunt Jackie some of us. She is the one who has collected anything in the form of an owl, and she did have a chance to hold a live baby owl in her hands.

Now, there is another family member that I would like bring out such an interesting attributes in. This person is into clowns and the Geisha girls. You see? This is only a few things that I can remember of this young man. So I am choosing to bring out these qualities of this young man.

His name is Henry Thomas Hoyle Jr. also known as “Little T.” by many of us family and some of his friends. He has the long blonde hair and has the necklace of the small ivory tooth. He cherishes that tooth-necklace and he has worn that for many years. I may not know how he has acquired it, but that was another one of the qualities that stand out in my memory.

Whenever I see and watched the clowns, I think of Little T. being this or that clown. You see? He used to do clown shows possibly in the carnival or in the parade. (He might have helped in the circus, which I may not know).

So whenever I do the clown ministry in our church, I thought of doing this in his memory just to show that I am honoring his memory. Sort of like a memorial to him. Doing the clown ministry is wonderful and fun once you get used to the routines of putting on the make-up and taking them off.

Then, there are the Geisha girls. Little T. has those two Geisha dolls which are intricately made by an artist who has the high attention to detail. I know that the Geisha dolls are one of the delicate things that Little has collected over the years. I may not know how he has started on collecting the Geisha dolls.

So whenever I played the Mahjongg tiles either on the computer or on the table with the actual tiles; I thought of Little T. and the Geisha girls. Yes, playing the Mahjongg tiles is one of my favorite games to play.

Little T. is the second oldest of the four children of Mary (also known as Aunt Farlene and Mema to some of us) and Henry Thomas (also known as Uncle T. and Granddaddy to some of us) Hoyle Sr.

Some may wonder what has become of Little T. Well, this is what I can say under the circumstances. His death was undetermined. He has died in 1989 near Orange City after something went terribly wrong. So this much I can say for the death was under investigation, and was closed prematurely. Some of our family has known the real reason why he has died so we’ve kept this truth to ourselves till this cold case will re-open with the fresh new eyes. It is so sad when a senseless death has occurred.

So Little T. has contributed part of his life doing the clown shows and collecting the Geisha dolls. So in a way, he is alive in our memories. Now, I can at least, contribute to his in memory this small blog and dedicate it to his name. Henry (Little T.) Thomas Hoyle Jr.

Sara-nora! (Japanese for Goodbye)

And God bless

Fourteenth Wedding Anniversary

Fourteenth Wedding Anniversary….

Being married to the same guy is a long time. Lately, I’ve noticed that a lot of marriages have been falling apart for around me. Almost all of my family members are divorced. Only a few of them are widows of the long marriage.

I’m amazed at how long have I’ve been marred to Ken. He is such a wonderful guy to be with. He’s the happy-go-lucky guy that you can easily get along with as friends. I love him for who he is. We are still growing together despite the ups-and-downs that have been going on throughout our married life. I met him in the neighborhood block party in May of 1992 on his mother’s birthday. So we’ve courted for about four months before he had decided to propose on the Labor-Day party on September 5^th. 1992 So we were engaged for almost a year before we got married on September 4^th, 1993.

So here I am blogging about this almost fourteen years later. Our wedding anniversary is coming up on Tuesday, September 4^th, 2007. I don’t know what we will be doing this weekend preceding this week’s date. So I just hope that it will be a good weekend though. Maybe I’ll just reminisce about our wedding and possibly watch the video of our wedding. Of course; I need to transfer it to DVD.

Anyway; I think that our marriage is still growing strong. Of course, we have argued over a number of things as the typical married couple would… Most of them are about money and some other dumb things. But we’d eventually get over it.

I sure don’t know how Ken puts up with me over the fourteen years. I’ve had a lot of odd quirks. So does he! And I don’t know how I put up with his odd quirks.

You see? He likes cold weather, I don’t. He likes night time, I don’t. There are more opposites that we have to contend with at times. But we do have similar tastes in food and clothing and leisure.

We sometimes like to do things together such as eating out and going shopping at different stores. And sometimes; we like to do different things apart from each other. Like I’d be at my computer chatting with my friends while Ken would be watching TV in another room. So it gets pretty busy in this house.

In one of the anniversaries; I’ve the weekend evacuated to my grandmother’s house during Hurricane Frances in 2004. So that was our eleventh anniversary being stuck in our shelter during the hurricane. Another of our anniversaries was spent at camp Agape with the Special Gatherings ministry.

We had only two honeymoons so that was not bad at all. Of course, I had laryngitis from screaming on the roller coasters, and I’ve skinned my foot bad on one of those Wet-N-Wild water-slides. Yeouch! We also had spent time during our honeymoons dealing with the time-share sales-representatives. The one on the second time-share was very persistent. (Well, I’ll tell you more about this later!)... So we did have fun nonetheless. On most of our anniversaries, Ken has had spent a lot of money on me, Heehee. He’d buy a few greeting cards, a couple of balloons, and flowers. There’s a few times that he’d bought me dozen roses! Oh, yeah, and candies sometimes. Most of our anniversaries, he’d be taking me out for dinner and splurge! Oh, and we’ve spent a couple anniversaries at church!

Our wedding color theme was purple and the theme was about the roses. Well, I’ve had my cousin, Misty; sing a song called, “The Rose” by Bette Midler. The person who had composed this song has passed away about over a week ago. I found that out by looking for the YouTube video of the same name. I have thought of this fourteenth wedding anniversary when I was looking for “The Rose” and then watching and listening and to the YouTube video of it. So the roses and purple do come together for the September wedding. So our wedding was memorable in many ways. We were the first wedding to be performed by Pastor Lamar Taylor at this church called Grace Chapel. There are quite a few Taylors that have popped up throughout our wedding. We were being married as the “Taylor” our best man was a Taylor, one of our groomsmen is a Taylor, our photographer is a Taylor, and that’s not all. We also rented the arbor and punch fountain from the Taylor Rentals. Just before the wedding had started; I cried when I looked through the two-way mirror in the church-secretary office waiting to be walked down the aisle by my Granddaddy. There Ken was up there with sweaty palms. As I’ve walked down the aisle; there was only one side of the church which was really crowded with people, and it was the bride’s side. The bridge-groom’s side has about maybe 20 people in it. That must’ve been some kind of the popularity contest. First our Pastor Taylor has made a mistake of calling me “Ken” instead of “Tracy”. Then, Ken made a mistake of not completing the vow after “Till death do us part.” And I almost forgot to blow out the flame from the taper of the unity candle. Ken has forgotten that he’d hugged my cousin, Melissa just before we began our receiving line. And I’ve totally forgotten that I’ve danced with Ken’s brother-in-law. Jeff. His brother, Don, has sprayed a little bit of silly string in Aunt Bonnie’s direction, and she got up out of her chair like she was going to deck him. Still, my mother hates wearing shoes as she was dancing with my newly wedded hubby, Ken.

Well, speaking of the wedding; there are a few people that I do miss now as I remember them. Barbara Cutshall, Ken’s mom passed on in February 12, 1995. Uncle Bill Poindextor was gone in 1996 Miss Luanna May was gone in November of 1997. Uncle Joseph Mitchell Sr. was gone in December 22, 1999. Granddaddy was gone in August 3, 2001, Aunt Farlene was gone in July 22, 2002, Aunt Ruth (Pat) in July 6, 2005. Many of the family members have grown apart ever since Granddaddy passed on. So yes, a lot of our family members have gone to do different things. A lot of people have changed since then.

So there are still a lot of things I’ve remembered about our wedding about 14 years ago. It’s amazing that our marriage has lasted this long. I will praise God that I’m still married to the wonderful handsomest guy on earth.

Yes, the most important ingredient in our marriage is God. Yes, God. He is the center of our lives as one flesh. Then, next comes our marriage, then, the family, and last but not least, the friends.

So we have celebrated most of the day as I’ve gone to teach at our church’s Joyful Noise class. The friend who I’ve worked with as the teacher has brought in the balloon and a card. The class has celebrated our union. Then, when we finished our class, and put away the materials and equipment, I got in the car and had opened the “Kay Jewelers” bag. In it was the greeting card for the wife, a stuffed polar-bear holding a stuffed penguin (NOW what’s wrong with this picture!), and a nice sapphire ring. Then, Ken and I went out to eat at the Longhorn’s Steakhouse Restaurant. Oh, their food is delicious!!! And, we just got home just about over a half hour ago before I’ve started to finish this blog.

Now you see that you too can make it as long as you have God as the center of your lives together as the married couple.

Anyway; that is pretty much of what I have to say about our fourteenth wedding anniversary. Yes, we’ve had good and bad times, but we learn to grow and learn from our mistakes.

I thank You Father God for this marriage and will continue to be thankful as You bless this marriage. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

An Owl Lady

An Owl Lady…………

Jacklyn Mitchell Reinhardt Perry…….. She is also known as Aunt Jackie to some of us. I have nick-named her “Big Jack”, and I still do not know why I’ve nick-named her as such for she is a small woman. This is the name that we hardly hear in our family nowadays for she has been taken from our lives in Jan of 1985. It has been very difficult for many of us to talk or write about her. So there is one thing that is very prominent about her life, and they are owls. She loves owls. She collects anything in the form of owls. Some of them are large and some of them are small. Some of them are beautiful and some of them are not so beautiful. She breathes anything of owls. Not one conversation goes by without mentioning a word “owl” in her vocabulary. And, yes, she even has a pet owl just before she has passed on.

She is born in February of 1948. She was only 36 years old when she was killed in the hit-and-run vehicular accident on the busy highway in Deland. That highway was as known as North Woodland Boulevard during the late night while she was walking across the highway from the motel near the Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food restaurant.

The last place that she had worked at was International House of Pancakes (IHOP). My grandmother, Penny, has not been able to bring herself to go to IHOP for 8 long years because that was the very last place that she has seen her daughter, Jackie. She is also the youngest of five children.

She has such a wonderful personality and she is a sweet and gullible woman. She is the kind of woman who can just sit with you and just listens. She is the kind of woman who has the care-free personality. She doesn’t hold grudges or be angry long.

She has a difficult childhood as she grew up along with her older sisters and a brother. The family has gone through many trials throughout their childhood. So Jackie, I believe, has done her best to grow and learn. There is not much of her childhood that I can gather. So this is all I know.

She has married Mike Reinhardt and had a child together named Melissa. Melissa was born in 1968. Their marriage did not last long and they divorced in 1972?

Then, she has married another man named, Jim. I have forgotten what his last name was. That marriage unfortunately did not last long either. It was about only three short weeks. I think that happened in 1974(?)

Then, her fourth marriage was to David Perry. He is the temperamental man to contend with. He gets belligerent when he drinks, but he is the nice guy when he was sober. I believe that their marriage didn’t till 1978 or so. I have no idea how bad these marriages were till I began to remember things.

So Jackie has remained divorced ever since.

Jackie has developed the drinking problem when she was pretty young, probably in her early 20’s since I knew very little of her alcoholism till she came to live with us in Tampa, Florida in 1973. I didn’t realize that her alcoholism has become paramount in her life until I was old enough to understand the affect that alcohol has on people. At one time or another, she would disappear to the bars somewhere in town to get a drink or two. Like I said, “She was a gullible person”. She would be around a lot of folks who would drink with her. I can remember that she has been in a lot of bad relationships with men in general. Things have gone from bad to worse as the time progresses.

She has hit rock-bottom one day when she has realized that she was in such a bad shape alone in an apartment. She used to go from one drinking binge after another. She had picked up the phone and called her mother to ask for help. She has realized how much that alcoholism has caused so much trouble. She was alone and scared.

Then, she was taken to the Stewart Treatment Center for Drug and Alcohol. So that was when she began to turn her life around. That was in January of 1984. Jackie has diligently gone through the treatment processes and therapies in order to learn of her dependence on alcohol. She was in such a vulnerable shape and she is learning how to cope with being a recovering alcoholic. She has done very well throughout the treatment and she was slowly recovering from the harmful effects of alcoholism. When she has completed her intensive treatment program; she was moved to the halfway house and she was given a waitressing job at IHOP. Even since, Jackie has worked so hard at IHOP in Deland, Florida. She has been diligent in saving her money for an apartment and being able to live as normally as possible as a recovering alcoholic. It is a life-long process. She was much happier and she has her dental work done which was caused by the effects of alcohol. She is smiling more and she was beginning to have new friends. Her daughter, Melissa, was so happy to have her mom back as well.

Jackie has found an injured baby owl one day and she decided to take it home with her so that she can take care of and raise it as her own. She has researched and learned enough about the care of the baby owl and learning how the owls live.

Then, her life was cut short one night in January of 1985 when a car was speeding along the Woodland Boulevard. The car hit her and dragged her about 80 feet along the highway till the driver realized that she had hit someone.

Perhaps; there is something beautiful out of this tragedy. Aunt Jackie has accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord. So there is “Beauty For Ashes”.

Yes, she was known as an owl lady. She loves owls and she talks about the owls. Whenever I’ve looked at the pictures of the owls, or watch any videos of owls; I would think of Aunt Jackie. She has been and will always be known as an Owl Lady.

Bath Tub Test....

BathTub Test…..

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window ?"

 
DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?

A Dream Of A "Ron"

A Dream of a “Ron”

I remember dreaming that this guy coming to hug me. And we were sort of dancing.. He looks so much like "Ron" but he's short and his hair is rather short. We were at some sort of an outdoor place… Yes, Ken was in it. And a few people are in it.

I'm writing this down while I still remember it….

It’s not very often that I remember the dreams nowadays…

I used to remember a lot of the dreams very well.If it’s something significant then, I’ll try to remember it.

Now about this dream, what is the significance of it? Good question… Does that mean I’ll soon meet this guy. By the way; he is wearing a yellow shirt. He sure looks so much like Ron near Palm Beach Florida… and Yes, I know of 4 Rons… My mother’s friend’s name is Ronnie, one of the Special Gathering member is named Ronald (we call him Ron) and a third Ron is one of my hubby’s old friends who has helped set-up the meeting between me and Ken in 92. It’s so weird that the name Ron would come into play. Maybe, God has a reason why this “Ron” would appear in my dream…

Hmm… Maybe I might meet a real Ron soon… that is most likely possibility in my opinion. Or maybe God is reminding me to continue pray for him. That is another most likely possibility. Anyway; I have to wonder though why I dreamed this dream out of curiosity…

The reason why this guy looks very familiar to me is that I’ve recognized him from the pictures he has shared with me. Anyway; I’m writing this piece of blog so I don’t forget this dream.

There are some dreams that I’ve felt compelled to remember for one reason or another. Now, I don’t remember many of them. So this is one reason why I dreamed about this dream. Maybe there is something special about it. I don’t know… Maybe it’s for me to find out.

At least, I’m remembering this one because there were times that I’ve kept getting the same or similar dreams of his nickname on the computer screen in the chat program… Oh, I’m remembering the snippets of them now. Well, it’s okay… Hopefully those dreams won’t be repeating itself again as often as they did… and I was about to go nuts about them. LOL….

Well, I’ll catch you all laters….. God bless….

Unattainable....

Sometimes; I just so happen to think about someone who happens to be “Unattainable” .. Could that person be attainable? I wonder… Someday, I would meet this person. It would be nice.

You know? I just hope that this person doesn’t know how I really feel towards him. Yes…. I almost said it. LOL… Well, I met this person in around 2004 or 5. I first met him in the #lobby of CCNET. Apparently; I didn’t realize that I would know more about him till later on. Amazing how I would be led to know this person.

I can describe this man. This much I know of him. He is tall. He says that he is modest though, and I know deep down he is handsome.

I know I know… he is unattainable. Why? Because I’m married to my handsome hubby, Ken. Kind of like having an affair. Huh?

Right now; I’m getting this out into this blog and hide this somewhere until someday that he will read this in the future.

Hmmm, Unattainable… why can’t I have something or someone that I cannot have? Good question… Maybe it’s the sinfulness of it all?

So I’m dealing with this issue of whether to keep this feeling to myself or just let it go. It’s hard to let go though.

You know? I just hope that all will be alright, and that I won’t be doing something that I shouldn’t. Yes, I have been tempted off and on about this man that I’ve met.

Now I op in his room on CCNET as a partner along with his friend. I didn’t start opping in this room till January of 2007. It’s really odd that I am really drawn to this guy.

Well, it all started in the #Lobby in the year 2004; I just so happened to be chatting in the main room when he simply showed up. We hit it off real well. So we’ve been talking off and on about the computers and other stuffs. I was in #Zola Levitt’s Room at the time and I remembered him being in the #lobby during the hurricane season. After all the hurricanes were gone at that time; I remembered us talking about damages from the hurricanes. Then, later, he had led me over to the RGC-Chat room. Amazing how one follows another. So met those people there.

Unbeknownst to me; I was led to know this guy. I didn’t know that he would be the one who would ask me to op in his room till a couple of years later. Gee, this is too much of the coincidences you know!

Anyway; I just want to tell you how I feel about this guy. Yes, he is single and a father of 2 kids. Notice I have NOT revealed his name or his nick…………yet. I am not ready to do so. I’m just gauging how I would handle myself.

I know that this is dangerous ground when it comes to affairs.

For years; I have been having the love affairs with the fantasy alien and artificial life forms. I have done this since I was a kid in order to get away from the world. And, I didn’t have to deal with the consequences of the love affairs. Of course, Ken knows all this.

Now, I’m dealing with my feelings towards another human being. There are times that I have been tempted to just pack up and buy the bus ticket and be gone from this place.

Okay, now; I just hope that nothing happens where I have to deal with the consequences of following though with my love for another man. Like I said, I’m not ready!

I didn’t think I’d be having feelings for this guy till March, man, I was like, “Gee, what is going on here?” To me; it’s shocking that I’d be having feelings for another real live human being.

I think I’m nutz to even consider that I’d be in love with this guy. Maybe I am…. So what is wrong with this picture?

Well, I can tell you that he has this strange aversion to penguins. I can think of the several possibilities of why he is afraid of penguins.

Anyway; now you know why he is “Unattainable”. He is a sweet guy and loves his family..

You know? I just hope he doesn’t know how I really feel about him. I just hope that I will not be forward about my feelings towards him. Yes, he has a crush on someone else and I pray that this relationship would be a success between him and her. I think it’s better that way… Hmm, I don’t know…. There is no telling how well this relationship will go since he has had bad experiences with the online romances. I have witnessed the break-up of one of the 2 relationships..

Maybe, I’m jealous, I really don’t know. I am happy that he and another lady from another country would message each other,, but I get jealous, too. Now that is sad when I tell of my fears. I have wondered what if they really proposed and get married. I pray that it would be so great for them, and that I will no longer be jealous and have unrequited love for him.

This is how I feel about him. He is attainable and I love him. I will continue to be a close friend to him no matter what despite my feelings for him. I have to remember that I still have my hubby. I really do.

You see? I don’t want anything to happen to destroy our marriage. Yes, I have told of my feeling for this guy to Ken and he understands and he is not jealous about this. If you don’t believe what I have told Ken, ask him and he will tell you.

So…… I can only tell you how I feel about this guy. Oh, and he is from south Florida. That is why I mentioned the busy ticket. Yes, I’ll get to him one of those days when we have enough money to down south.

So this is a little about the real me, and of my real feelings. I didn’t want to start this blog till I find the right place to hide it in. Like I said; I’m not quite ready to tell the whole world just yet.

Where I have place this blog; he will not know about this till later or when the “right” time comes. He will have no way of knowing how I feel until the time is right. I know that it is hard to find the right time for anything.

Yes, he is very unattainable for me as someone that I’d be falling in love with. And NO, I am still not going to reveal his name or his nickname.

So here I am still married to Ken and I have feelings for someone else. I do love my husband. And the temptation is so great!!!!

So I am swearing to secrecy of my feelings towards this guy. Hmm, I guess I can name him “Ron”. And nothing more. I am swearing to secrecy of my feeling for Ron and that he will not know of this and many other blogs about him until the “right” time. I just pray that nothing bad will happen, and that I’m able to tell of my feeling and not follow through with them. If I followed through with my feelings and I’m still married to Ken, I’d be in BIG trouble! So this is why I am swearing this and all the other blogs to secrecy. Maybe Ron will never know…. Maybe he will find out in the future. I don’t know.

I don’t think I’d be around to get yelled at when Ron finds out where the hidden blogs about him are.

I know.. I’m in trouble and I will always be when I talk about Ron. Heehee………..

I guess that is about it for now. I will see you later. Blessings!!!!

Tracy

Phone Calls Rants...

I soooo wanted to wring somebody’s neck today….. Today, I had to deal with the harassing phone calls from an unknown phone number in Utah. This has started about 5 days ago on Thursday morning. I have first missed those calls until they have become persistent on Friday. I did some checking online and have found that a lot of people are having the same problems as I have, and it is very frustrating.

Same thing happened on Saturday and Sunday. It was getting very aggravating. Today, on Monday, I simply blew my fuse. I was so fed up with these harassing phone calls. So I called my cell phone company asked about getting the call-block on a specific number, but they have no way of doing so. Sooooo, I opted to have my cell number changed. Then, there came more aggravation with the automated voice-prompts and getting cut off.

So I had my hubby to take care of this mess. I got the new cell phone number, but they had screwed up my voice-mail number! UUUGGGHHHH!!!! I was soooo mad! It seems I got madder and madder as the day went by…

So Hubby had to deal with more aggravation with the automated voice-prompts and then, some idiot cut him off! It was so terrible!

So anyway; we’ll have to go tomorrow to Radio Shack and have them take care of the mess with the voice-mail.

I know it’s UnChristian to feel that I wanted to wring somebody’s neck, but I’m at my wit’s end today. So I have calmed down enough as I write this. At least, I can get this off my chest. I was not even in such a great mood to chat with anybody tonight so I decided to get off-line before I would say something stupid in the chat room when my mind dwells on it. Of course, I was chatting earlier today, and my emotions was beginning to wear down because of the phone incidents, and called hubby to voice my frustration thus getting things off my chest.

While I was calming down; I was with my hubby talking and airing out the frustration with the phone company and such. Then, I did something productive by re-installing 3 programs onto this computer.

So now, I am just here writing out my feelings regarding this day.

You know? When you are so angry, it’s so hard to think straight. Yes, it’s very hard to think straight and clearly about the situation when we are so angry. Sometimes, we just lose our tempers. Yes, I have lost my temper. Some may call me a “Hot-head” Heehee. Well, that is one of the things that I have to deal with and trying my hardest not to sin. It’s very difficult, and I know I’ve had given in to sin so I had to repent of them.

So anyway; that is my rant for the day so I am done with venting. I’ll have to just pray about this mess. I know God forgives me. He knows that I will come back to Him to be set free from this.

Well, I’ll catch y’all laterz, folks.